“North Korea is Best Korea,” states successor Kim Jong-un

Now available as a T-shirt.

Shit just got real for the Korean peninsula.  After years of real life trolling from the folks at North Korea, with plenty of “Maybe we have nukes, maybe we don’t. How about you try invading us?” assisting a cheeky wink, they were inspired by the 4chan raid on Tumblr and decided — hey, why don’t we just show bitches who’s in charge?

Unfortunately North Korea, opening fire at random won’t make up for Kim Jong-Il’s miniature dick. Nor will the South come groveling at your feet. If anything, China will ground you  and stop giving you allowance for a week.

Artillery fired at Yeonpyeong island for about an hour at around 2am EST, injuring two civilians, wounding 15 South Korean soldiers and killing one soldier. It also demolished dozens of houses and caused civilians to shit themselves and flee to the mainland. All in all, North Korea fired 200 rounds just to show how many guns they have, while South Korea only fired back 60.

During this time, Government Leaders were discussing options in the underground bunker in Seoul and the warning issued was a Code 1 — basically meaning ohhhh it’s on now, you little bitch. Meanwhile, we speculate an Asian version of James Bond (Zhang Wong?) was infiltrating the evil, hidden underground base in Pyongyang in a Ferrari.

North Korea is not concerned however. After showing the world who’s boss, they said “no u”, pissed on some American money and washed their hands. Ever since revealing their brand new nuclear power plant, many fear North Korea is building even more weapons of mass destruction.  Sources say that all these activities from the North may be due to the instable political powers and that this unprovoked attack was the worst attack since the end of the Korean war.

It’s also at this moment in time when K-POP fans showed their incredible stupidity and tweeting such gems on Twitter as,
“#prayforkorea Hope #UKiss and #SS501 are safe.”
“#prayforkorea and heechul-oppar.”
“#prayforkorea so i can slep w/ kikwang.”
“#prayforkorea … nah, let’s BOMB FUCKING EVERYTHING.”
“#prayforkorea…. naaaah, #prayformydog instead.”
“Problem, South Korea? (p.s. not Kim Jong-il)”

We at Korean Beef are not idiots and we don’t want to join their ranks, so we’ll stop it there. All we can say is we hope the families and people involved are safe now and the injured are being treated. And no, North Korea really isn’t Best Korea. Also we hope we won’t be abducted in our sleep tonight for writing this.