AllKpop is a Fucking Wanker

Even though no one has posted here in over a year, there are times when justice must step in. This is one of those times.

I am no longer a KPOP fan, and many days and nights have passed in the Kpoposphere. And many, many scandals. Yet when the populace cried, “KOREAN BEEF, WHERE ARE YOU?!?!” it was in vain. Our warrior cloaks dusty, hanging on the clothes rack, with nary a truth harbinger to be seen.

I hope this is the last somewhat serious post on this, and I’m ashamed I couldn’t end it with some joke about Tablo. No, we have discovered an even greater enemy. One that even angers our bitterest arch rival.

Meet AllKpop.
69860_2009111409000119
The filthiest name in Kpop.

Yes, I’m referring to the nudes scandal.

Let’s cut the shit: AllKpop, I am deeply fucking ashamed of what you are. You’re a circus, a joke, and it’s a cold day in hell when you’ve out-depraved Dispatch. Accepting a $3500 bribe and trying to smear a poor girl’s image by bringing back her younger, foolish days is a terrible thing.

“Don’t shoot the messenger?” Bullshit! You accepted them in the first fucking place. Don’t spew that shit around, trying to shrug off responsibility. You posted it, therefore you are responsible for the backlash. You are responsible for the outrage and everything else that comes with it. The lawsuits, everything. It’s the same reason you don’t see nudes of young girls in the newspaper when a similar crime happens. Newspaper corporations get sued and journalists go to jail over this kind of thing.

It is not whistleblowing. This is vicious, petty bullying. And judging by the quick internet google search I did, it’s too late to censor the nudes. You have to remove the page completely to signify that you are actually sorry. An overblown apology letter with no actions does not cut it.

I hope you burn in hell, AllKpop. We’ll see you there.

rT58IR74
(Notice how our responding nude is properly censored with a diaper, also CONSENTED.)

November 11, 2013 at 11:09 pm 2 comments

(Special) Why I’m NOT Proud to be a SM Stan

Ahh, SM Entertainment. You have brought countless joy to the masses (even all the way to Timbuktu without the help of the Internet). You brought us Shinhwa, H.O.T, M.I.L.K., BoA, Dong Bang Shin Ki, Super Junior, Girls Generation, and a bunch of other nobodies to the forefront and made us think they’re something special. You made us believe in 90s cheese music again.

The tl;dr version of this is that: the SM fans are extremely petty, stupid, and they make mountains over mud puddles. And I’m ashamed to be even associated with them. There are those who are not that way, of course, but … I think it’s important to point out their issues.

Now, I’ll admit – I am very SM biased. I’ll get up and do my best vocal rendition of “Replay” and I’ll do my best dance version of “Sorry, Sorry” that I can muster. I buy their CDs (and repackages). I cry that I can’t make it to the SM Towns. I envy those who get to get pictures of Lee Teuk’s nostrils. I literally scream for Henry Lau and Girls Generation though I lead the illusion that I am about to hit my mid-20s very soon. I always love listening to their music for the specific reason that they’re an escape from my shitty life. SM gives me the illusion that maybe I could walk up to Sunny and we can go just go bbubuu all day every day.

But maybe that’s dangerous that they do it. In the ending of the first of 100 versions of “Happiness”, you can see Super Junior holding fucking signs that said, “FREE HUGS!” And they proceed to hug everyone – including the security guards who probably didn’t know who the fuck they were.

“Oh, these guys want to hug me? Uh, okay..? I better get overtime.”

And then we never hear from them again. Okay, that’s obviously an exaggeration (one of the few flaws Korean Beef has) but the point is that maybe the idea of being able to hang out with Onew over some Gamjatang has warped into something horrifying and obsessive.

Like any smart company, SM Entertainment cashed in the fame of these nobodies by creating these fanclubs. I suppose to give the fans a sense of belonging since their school days essentially makes them stay for up to 12 hours a day. Supposedly, they’ve only recently made it so the grade school kids don’t have to attend Saturday classes.

That’s insane!

So I understand that the students (grade, middle, etc) need something extra in their life to look forward to for entertainment. And that’s, I think, is the basis of everything that’s wrong with how it’s being handled. Of course, the United States still has its own ways to go. That’s not the point though. The point is how insane these fans are and how extreme they can be.

And, well, they do a lot of stupid shit. What gets me is that SM Entertainment know what they’re doing is fucked up but they don’t do anything about it. They just let it escalate out of control to where it’s acceptable for fans to pressure each other do to more in order to: 1) shock to impress oppa/unnie 2) shock to impress other fans at their “dedication” 3) prove to themselves in their own mind that they are worthy in their idol’s eyes 4) other psychological issues I probably haven’t even touched or have gone near.

Korean Beef always have issues with fanclubs – that isn’t a secret but it’s important to know that this post is not just going to be about Korean fans but International fans as well. SM Entertainment is (somehow) becoming a name in the world because of the Internet. And to be fair, apparently, there are those groups of fans who do indeed respect the artist but it really feels like it’s far and few in between.

I’ve prattled on long enough. Remember: this is all that I can think of and what I’m aware of. Feel free to spam the comments with your thoughts on how I don’t understand the true spirit of sending death threats or trying to get my ass get run over or whatever.

(more…)

June 29, 2012 at 4:37 am 12 comments

Don’t Call It A Comeback. Because I’m Not Quite Ready.

ImageSo… sup. A lot of things happened in 2011 in the kpoposphere but I believe I can sum it up: Blackface, fans being dumb (when are they not), a bunch of new bands, JYJ being shit on, the cat is out of the bag (that is to say: the populace finally acknowledge the fans’ shitty behavior, bunch of shit music, and other shit that I really don’t care to remember right now.

 

On a personal level, there was a lot of offline shit that happened with me that I don’t care to share with you but there’s something that I could no longer deny.

I can’t stop making fun of KPOP idols. It’s way too much fun to rip them a new asshole (especially when they deserve it). It’s way too much fun to stir shit with so-called fans who are willing to tell me their thoughts on shit I don’t care about.

As for the new changes: I’m not going to delete any of the great articles that’s already posted. I’m probably going to reorganize everything and start looking for a new co-writer. I’ll probably just have you guys submit shit to me on my personal email since I don’t remember the password for blog’s and it’ll make me feel important. Different jokes but it’ll be the same shit.

Um. I think that’s it for right now. The only thing I’ll say is: Keep an eye out for Korean Beef’s Twitter (@kpopbeef) for random updates on progress as well as rumors/confirmations in less than 140 characters.

March 17, 2012 at 8:19 am 2 comments

All Good Things Must Come to an End

Everyone knows Korean Beef is the best (as Hyori Lee herself endorses), thus our lifespan was doomed to be short.

The good die young, as they say.

I was ignoring all the comments up until recently because I’m the average lazy Canadian, but since I was bored at 3am and came to the realization all the recent comments left were so well-thought out, well-spelled and spot on with what I vaguely remember their moms saying the night before, I give up. You guys are too smart.

Just kidding. The real reason is I have no idea what’s new with K-POP, and I don’t have any intention of keeping up. How can I run the truthiest K-POP blog since, well, us? I can’t. So I must duck out to another spot in some dark, dusty corner of the Internet drinking haterade and pissing on something else more interesting.

For those who don’t like long-winded farewells, basically I stopped caring about K-POP and also banged your mother last night. Don’t sweat it! It was fun while it lasted.

I don’t know if Starpowder will continue to update this, but I know I’m done. Adieu.

April 20, 2011 at 7:55 am 6 comments

Adventures in E-Mail Diving


We’re just a little odd here.

Sorry about randomly dying like that, Beefcakes. Life tends to be a little bit more important that idols (believe it or not).

Anyway, because the writers here are not in Korea, sometimes we have to order from online sites. They usually take two weeks or so to get to our place of residence and of course we’re subscribed to their newsletters at times.

One of the more popular websites for fans to buy KPOP cds and merchandise are usually YesAsia, GMarket (although I haven’t personally tried that myself), and DVDHeaven.

More often times than not, our favorite KPOP idols (and I say this with the utmost sarcasm) release nothing but crap, crap, crap for fans who’ll happily blow their student loans on.

However, this time it’s different. Because of the drama that’s still going on even though we’re in the new year (eventually, we’re going to have to do our annual Year In Review), nothing is funnier than this.

It’s not even exactly new news that SM Entertainment and Avex are selling TVXQ shit like they’re gold-platted Hummers and really good pizza pops – but I just found this in my e-mail today that I would just love to share with the rest of my wonderful readers:


Oh. Sucks to be a poor Cassie, I guess.

Happy New Year, JYJ and to our lovely readers of Korean Beef!

January 3, 2011 at 7:20 am 4 comments

Some Old Ha–I mean, Seo In Young Releases MV Teaser for “Into the Rhythm”.

Looks like it’s not just men who go through a midlife crisis.

Jewelry’s Seo In Young has been doing some solo work here and there (Elly is So Hot and Elly is Cinderella, most notably if older KPOP fans have Alzheimer’s) since Jewelry aren’t as active as they used to be, although, they are the longest running girl-group out there. Even though, you know, two of the original members already left, they replaced one of them, and they’re supposedly going to come back with a new name any minute.

Yep, any minute.

Anyway, at first, Seo In Young had a very strong hip-hop influence in her Elly is So Hot (no, really) and in her second on, Elly is Cinderella, it still had a lot of hip-hop influence but you could tell that she wanted to try out techno. It didn’t work too well but whatever. And supposedly in her third album, Lov-Elly, there’s a lot of ballads which contributes to the annoying levels of ballads, as I mentioned before.

But now she’s releasing a new album called Into the Rhythm, which is supposedly going to come out on the 10th of December. All we can say is – what the fuck is this audio mess? This is worse than BoA’s song of wanting to come out and bump uglies with you. Gross. This is her second attempt at bad techno. I suppose the winter’s not quite tired of techno vomit just yet. The teaser is just weird and, again, it’s just nothing but noise.

I think this is her way of trying to breaking the Elly trend, which is surprising all things considering – her hip-hop stuff is more creditable than it may seem.

But, really, Beefcakes, should Seo In Young keep trying to get into the techno rhythm or is this Cinderella permanently banned from the techno ball she wants to so badly go?

December 6, 2010 at 11:36 pm 1 comment

Hyesung Wants To Be “Close to You”

 

It seems like Shinhwa are gradually coming back from the military. Following in the footsteps of Eric, JunJin and Dongwan, Hyesung returned on December 4th.  Why are we just reporting Hyesung’s return? Because we’re lazy.

Hyesung held a two hour long concert in a smaller venue to create that “intimate” feeling with his fans. Hopefully it wasn’t too intimate, because we want to believe Hyesung came out relatively un-violated by any enthusiastic fans. He performed his older songs such as “First Person” and covered other artist’s popular songs, one being “I Don’t Care”. We believe that this is his subtle way of saying if you are the first person he sees, he probably won’t care. He still won’t like you.

He even added to this insult by treating his fans to a teaser of a new track, “Think About It”. Such as, think about why I’ll never like you. Okay, maybe he really isn’t that much of a grouch towards his fans, especially since his closing words were,

It’s been a long time since I’ve performed and this moment right here makes me so very happy. What strengthens my will to continue singing is all of you. I will return soon with good music.

With four out of six members having returned to the K-POPosphere, we’re going to have to keep waiting for the other two. Hopefully after all these new stars, the fully-returned Shinhwa won’t seem like old, washed-up artists trying to relive their former glory.

December 5, 2010 at 3:38 am Leave a comment

Older Posts


Recent Posts

Categories

Korean Beef’s Official Feed

  • AllKpop is a Fucking Wanker: Even though no one has posted here in over a year, there are times when justice m... bit.ly/1bwd0BC 1 year ago
  • RT @DrunkenTigerJK: 계속이어갈 첯번째 프로젝트!“@Jungle_Ent: 타이거JK·t윤미래, 비주얼 아티스트 룸펜스가 공동으로 기획된 ‘더 원더러스(The Wanderes)' shopping.naver.com/plan/template.…2 years ago
  • To submit guest articles, please email krnbeef(at)gmail(dot)com. Be funny. Be original. Be beefy. 2 years ago
  • KOREAN BEEF PSA: Petition for Hwayoung's future diss tape and tell-all book about CCM. 2 years ago
  • As for the rumor of T-ARA bullying Hwayoung, all this writer can say is: Apple is A and Bullying is not the B's knees. 2 years ago

Side Dishes

To add Korean Beef to your links, please right click and save as this button and link to http://koreanbeef.wordpress.com


Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 29 other followers